I Tried to Become the Local Hero by Rescuing a Cat. I Failed Utterly

I thought discovering Karma, the cat, would make me beloved by my neighborhood. But it didn’t happen that way.

A few weeks ago, I went to my neighbor, we’ll call her L. She had lost her tabby cat, Karma. Karma had been missing for weeks and everyone in my neighborhood was sorrowful. They all had been trying to look for her.

One day, I saw Karma when I was looking out of the window. Karma was peeking out from the broken shed near my house. I was thrilled because I could bring Karma back to her family and selfishly I thought this might raise me to a hero in my Philadelphia neighborhood.

So, I thought this might make me friends with the ice cream van guy in my neighborhood. Here is the price list: there is no set price for the ice cream; the guy charges whatever he feels like. Folks who’ve been around here a while, like my neighbor L, pay $1. Interlopers like me get hit with extra charges.

The last time I got my kid a cone, I had to charge $6.50! I wanted to object but I had a hyper toddler with me. I didn’t think of quoting US law title 15, section 13 (discrimination in price, services, or facilities).

Okay, so Philadelphia is where our country started, right? And they are not keen on fancy British ladies telling them what to do.

Anyway, I saw my chance to get a cheap ticket: Off I trotted to L’s house to tell her that Karma, her cat, was in my garden. We both tried to get Karma to go back home. Alas, this cat turned out to be a stray before L took her in, and now wants to live outdoors. She spends her time between the alley and my garden, using it as her litter box.

Every day, I try to convince her to leave, but she keeps coming back. Looks like I’m stuck paying full price for ice cream for a while.

Karma really is a bitch.